Twenty years of a counseling/prayer ministry has helped me to see a wide range of experiences women have gone through. For years no one really thought about narcissism other than it is an extreme love of self, but this is just a speckle of insight that doesn't always lead to love of self.
Narcissistic personality disorder delivers a profile that is complex and yet so clear. A narcissist wants everyone to go down that rabbit hole with them. They make it appear real and genuine. But what you find down that rabbit hole is a whole lot of tunnels going nowhere with demolition peaking at its finest. It is a way of creating chaos when there is no chaos to be had.
The saying what you see is what you get is not true with an narcissist, they wear different masks.
Each person gets the privilege of getting an assigned role determined by the narc. Thus each individual player sees things from a totally different perspective. The scapegoat is abused while the golden child is doted and loved. The others dangle for attention and affirmation from the narc but never can achieve that status because of their assigned role. So depending upon where you are in the narcissist's game, you either win, lose or strive to get there. It's a way of getting others to serve the narc's purposes and provide enjoyment over other's suffering, mistreatment, gullibility and victimization.
Thus the triangulation begins where conflict, war, distrust and competition all vie for the gold medal. The rules are set up by the npd so everything falls into place and manipulation effortlessly moves the players for an award winning theater performance. The npd sits back to gloat over their accomplished script as it plays out in the evil darkest abyss. The narc comes out unscathed and their true victims become scapegoats for being able to expose the narc's true identity. They have encapsulated the definition of abuse.
The world becomes a stage for the narcissist. They become the actors who either smile sweetly for the audience or change costume when no one is looking into Darth Vader's evil twin. The only audience is their victim of choice when they morph into this vile creature. Studies say they have no conscience to speak of. On one hand the audience who sees the prim, proper, polite and honey comb smiles cheer with a standing ovation. The only ones who do not cheer are those who have seen the diabolical mask appear in testimony of the npd's true nature.
I found these sayings below to be fitting to the dynamics of the narcissist.